I hate to be a crybaby running to my blog to write about everything that upsets me.
But I am upset so I guess I should talk about it.
I have a new nickname for a boy he is will be called the Dungeon Dragon. This is partly inspired by my love of Nicki Minaj ( her body is bangin) and the fact he has a Dungeon. I think still think I'm to sensitive to be involved with anyone anymore. Its sad that at 31 I may incapable of close relationship with a man.
I will tell you what is upsetting me. We hung out last Friday I spent the night. I did not fuck him. I felt like I was suffocating in his bed. So as soon as it was daylight I made my excuses and left before he chucked me out or told me he had a busy weekend planned. I spent the weekend feeling quite sick from a cold. Monday I text him to say something a long the lines I really had fun lets see if we can do again this month I sent him my availability this month and then a few days for next month just in case he was already booked up. I explained the days of the week I like to meet and apologised for leaving so early after spending the night and explained it was pre emptive strike on my part but I should of realised that he wasn't like that. I got a response with an hour , but I was asleep by then. He said he would contact me tomorrow to confirm. Tomorrow came and went no response. It got to Friday I stlll hadn't heard anything but by Friday I wasn't available on some of the days I had mentioned so I sent him a message to say I am no longer available on these days. He apologised and said he would get back to me asap. At this point asap hasn't arrived.
However in the meantime He has found time to put updates on Facebook and Twitter. So he cant be that interested in meeting up again. It has hurt my feelings so I have unfollowed him on Twitter and Facebook This more a coping strategy for me than being about him. Its almost like see no evil, hear no evil speak no evil..I feel foolish that I actually took him seriously. I don't even know if I want to see him again, but as we have mutual friends it maybe difficult to completely disengage. I am not even sure if this overreaction on my part. But I promised myself I was going to read the signs and follow my instincts my instincts say it maybe a good idea to withdraw and become distant and revert back to type. Limited chat and more play. I don't want to become close to him anymore. I don't think its possible to put on a face and pretend everything is ok when someone has hurt your feelings.
But its not all bad I have a full blown crush on a guy. He isn't really interested and couldn't even remember my name and mistook me for someone else. But its good news as after The Ex I never imagined that I could feel passionate about someone again and; that I would ever have a full blown crush on someone again. Its not the kind of crush where I want to marry him and have his babies. Its more the type of crush where I want him to tie me up and fuck me hard. He doesn't even to speak to me afterwards it could be a one off thing. Its more a scratching that itch type of thing.
In other news The Ex email address has been hacked and a spam email has been sent. I could see all his contacts. There were lots of girls with very sexy sounding email addresses. I think I need to accept that there are lots of girls in his life and he has probably being telling them the same story that he told me. There are too many other girls in his life for him to focus on one girl.
But I am upset so I guess I should talk about it.
I have a new nickname for a boy he is will be called the Dungeon Dragon. This is partly inspired by my love of Nicki Minaj ( her body is bangin) and the fact he has a Dungeon. I think still think I'm to sensitive to be involved with anyone anymore. Its sad that at 31 I may incapable of close relationship with a man.
I will tell you what is upsetting me. We hung out last Friday I spent the night. I did not fuck him. I felt like I was suffocating in his bed. So as soon as it was daylight I made my excuses and left before he chucked me out or told me he had a busy weekend planned. I spent the weekend feeling quite sick from a cold. Monday I text him to say something a long the lines I really had fun lets see if we can do again this month I sent him my availability this month and then a few days for next month just in case he was already booked up. I explained the days of the week I like to meet and apologised for leaving so early after spending the night and explained it was pre emptive strike on my part but I should of realised that he wasn't like that. I got a response with an hour , but I was asleep by then. He said he would contact me tomorrow to confirm. Tomorrow came and went no response. It got to Friday I stlll hadn't heard anything but by Friday I wasn't available on some of the days I had mentioned so I sent him a message to say I am no longer available on these days. He apologised and said he would get back to me asap. At this point asap hasn't arrived.
However in the meantime He has found time to put updates on Facebook and Twitter. So he cant be that interested in meeting up again. It has hurt my feelings so I have unfollowed him on Twitter and Facebook This more a coping strategy for me than being about him. Its almost like see no evil, hear no evil speak no evil..I feel foolish that I actually took him seriously. I don't even know if I want to see him again, but as we have mutual friends it maybe difficult to completely disengage. I am not even sure if this overreaction on my part. But I promised myself I was going to read the signs and follow my instincts my instincts say it maybe a good idea to withdraw and become distant and revert back to type. Limited chat and more play. I don't want to become close to him anymore. I don't think its possible to put on a face and pretend everything is ok when someone has hurt your feelings.
But its not all bad I have a full blown crush on a guy. He isn't really interested and couldn't even remember my name and mistook me for someone else. But its good news as after The Ex I never imagined that I could feel passionate about someone again and; that I would ever have a full blown crush on someone again. Its not the kind of crush where I want to marry him and have his babies. Its more the type of crush where I want him to tie me up and fuck me hard. He doesn't even to speak to me afterwards it could be a one off thing. Its more a scratching that itch type of thing.
In other news The Ex email address has been hacked and a spam email has been sent. I could see all his contacts. There were lots of girls with very sexy sounding email addresses. I think I need to accept that there are lots of girls in his life and he has probably being telling them the same story that he told me. There are too many other girls in his life for him to focus on one girl.
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