This week I decided to stop seeing a play partner. It was not an easy decision.
I met him at Kink Bar. He was in his late 40's. He seemed to adore me. It was very flattering. My friend thought he was odd But we arranged to go for a drink after exchanging a few emails on Fetlife. In conversation we discovered we had a similar outlooks on life and were in similar places. He wanted to experience the things I wanted to try.
So we arranged our first session. I ended up being quite late. I got assigned a job far from home. I told him I was running late. He kept texting me how long it was going to be.I told him I didnt know. I eventually go home and grabbed my pre packed play bag. I ended up grabbing a takeaway to eat at his as he had veg curry and brown rice to eat. That day I could not face eating veg curry and brown rice . I text him I was on my way this announcement caused him to send me a flurry of text a bit like excitable puppy jumping up and down. I got there. I was tired and hungry. But I didn't cancel as I read somewhere it was very bad manners to cancel a play session.
His house was cold and smelt a bit damp. We chatted for a while I scoffed my takeaway. I then got changed. We played he worshipped my boots , I spanked him, whipped , blindfolded him. I put sweets in his mouth, I stroked him. I think you get the picture. He said Yes Mistress a lot during play but mostly silent. Afterwards he said he didn't speak much saying he was in a sub space. He asked me if I wanted to stay the night . I responded I did not want to. I didn't want to lead him on and make him think there was anything more than play going on. He texted me and said he had a wonderful time and hope to see me again.
I asked if him if there anything he really didn't enjoy during the session. I just needed some feedback so I could plan a further session. His response was he loved everything. I found it hard to believe that. But I had to accept it. I spoke to a friend who is a Domme. She said perhaps he was afraid to say anything in case I stopped playing with him.
We play twice more after our first session but the same result. He loved everything and I just started to feel I wasn't learning anything from playing with. He did suggest scat but after considering it I decided it was not for me. Scat wasn't for me the smell and I think some ideas are better in theory than in practise.
After my third session I started to wonder what was I getting out of this. I started to wonder if I should end this. I didn't like the smell of his house and it was cold. He wasn't giving any type of feedback. I have other things that I should be focused on - Uni,friends, socialising, having fun.
So I didn't text him for a month. He then text me - When are you coming to see me, My ass is twitching.
I text back I don't know , maybe.
He responded OK I'll say bye then.
I responded. OK
Its not nice to hear some of the above especially as I know some of its true. There was one particular play session that was late at night so it was a bit short about 1 hour and 30 minutes. But I had a lot on my plate and I was trying to do too much. So rather than cancel I went and spent less time than usual. But at least I know he noticed. It did feel a little formal but that partly in reaction to him. He was so quiet which made me act more formal and mistress like in response to his behavior. I had forget we had talked about feminization it just slipped my mind.
I guess I can take some of his feedback on board and be a better mistress in future. But submissives have to give feedback and remind Mistresses if necessary. Mistresses cant improve the play and give them a submissive what they want if the submissive isn't communicating.
I met him at Kink Bar. He was in his late 40's. He seemed to adore me. It was very flattering. My friend thought he was odd But we arranged to go for a drink after exchanging a few emails on Fetlife. In conversation we discovered we had a similar outlooks on life and were in similar places. He wanted to experience the things I wanted to try.
So we arranged our first session. I ended up being quite late. I got assigned a job far from home. I told him I was running late. He kept texting me how long it was going to be.I told him I didnt know. I eventually go home and grabbed my pre packed play bag. I ended up grabbing a takeaway to eat at his as he had veg curry and brown rice to eat. That day I could not face eating veg curry and brown rice . I text him I was on my way this announcement caused him to send me a flurry of text a bit like excitable puppy jumping up and down. I got there. I was tired and hungry. But I didn't cancel as I read somewhere it was very bad manners to cancel a play session.
His house was cold and smelt a bit damp. We chatted for a while I scoffed my takeaway. I then got changed. We played he worshipped my boots , I spanked him, whipped , blindfolded him. I put sweets in his mouth, I stroked him. I think you get the picture. He said Yes Mistress a lot during play but mostly silent. Afterwards he said he didn't speak much saying he was in a sub space. He asked me if I wanted to stay the night . I responded I did not want to. I didn't want to lead him on and make him think there was anything more than play going on. He texted me and said he had a wonderful time and hope to see me again.
I asked if him if there anything he really didn't enjoy during the session. I just needed some feedback so I could plan a further session. His response was he loved everything. I found it hard to believe that. But I had to accept it. I spoke to a friend who is a Domme. She said perhaps he was afraid to say anything in case I stopped playing with him.
We play twice more after our first session but the same result. He loved everything and I just started to feel I wasn't learning anything from playing with. He did suggest scat but after considering it I decided it was not for me. Scat wasn't for me the smell and I think some ideas are better in theory than in practise.
After my third session I started to wonder what was I getting out of this. I started to wonder if I should end this. I didn't like the smell of his house and it was cold. He wasn't giving any type of feedback. I have other things that I should be focused on - Uni,friends, socialising, having fun.
So I didn't text him for a month. He then text me - When are you coming to see me, My ass is twitching.
I text back I don't know , maybe.
He responded OK I'll say bye then.
I responded. OK
I felt bad we had got on pretty well out of play and in conversation. But during play I found it frustrating I could not get anything from him and I wasn't learning anything. In the morning I text him again just really try and get some feedback. This time He opened up. He said several things, He felt like my some of my visits were rushed, he felt embarrassed a lot of the time and didn't know what to say so said nothing, He didn't trust me. The play felt formal and there was not much laughter. I didn't feminise as we had talked about.
Its not nice to hear some of the above especially as I know some of its true. There was one particular play session that was late at night so it was a bit short about 1 hour and 30 minutes. But I had a lot on my plate and I was trying to do too much. So rather than cancel I went and spent less time than usual. But at least I know he noticed. It did feel a little formal but that partly in reaction to him. He was so quiet which made me act more formal and mistress like in response to his behavior. I had forget we had talked about feminization it just slipped my mind.
I guess I can take some of his feedback on board and be a better mistress in future. But submissives have to give feedback and remind Mistresses if necessary. Mistresses cant improve the play and give them a submissive what they want if the submissive isn't communicating.
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