I have been analysing and thinking again about everything again. I started snooping again, its almost like I cant help myself. But I'm sure this is the last time. I wont say what I did. But it was very snoopy. Sometimes I think I should of been a private detective I am wasting my talents. I know have to stop but I am like a dog with a bone, maybe even with my DS I'm acting like a dog with a bone.I wont or cant let go. I have to admit I could be fighting a battle I cant win that will leave me anxious, depressed and exhausted. I got my friend who I gave his number to prevent me contact him to give me his number again, I probably wont use I feel no urgent need to. He probably doesn't even use it anymore.
My friend told he was poison and if I contacted him I was a glutton for punishment. Something in those words stung. It has made me think, how I need to spend my time doing positive things to help me.
I'm 29 this month and I want to spend the next 2 years learning about myself and having experiences. I have to stop myself getting into these cycles. They are negative and not positive for my well being. I glanced at an article in Marie Claire about female stalkers.I terrifyingly fit the profile, but I really don't want to become a stalker. In the article there is cautionary tale about a woman who stalked and a male who was stalked. I'm hoping the article can help me get off this bad track. Its kind of hard to explain but its almost like being possessed. All logical reasoning goes out of your head. Its not the person I want to be so I am going to remove all traces of him in my life. I have to focus on the positive in my life, reading , dance, socialise, exercise and do anything to take my mind off it.
My friend told he was poison and if I contacted him I was a glutton for punishment. Something in those words stung. It has made me think, how I need to spend my time doing positive things to help me.
I'm 29 this month and I want to spend the next 2 years learning about myself and having experiences. I have to stop myself getting into these cycles. They are negative and not positive for my well being. I glanced at an article in Marie Claire about female stalkers.I terrifyingly fit the profile, but I really don't want to become a stalker. In the article there is cautionary tale about a woman who stalked and a male who was stalked. I'm hoping the article can help me get off this bad track. Its kind of hard to explain but its almost like being possessed. All logical reasoning goes out of your head. Its not the person I want to be so I am going to remove all traces of him in my life. I have to focus on the positive in my life, reading , dance, socialise, exercise and do anything to take my mind off it.
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