Intrigued at First Sight / Despardos in Greenwich 29 - 30 December Henry and Rob

I went out for a few cocktails in Greenwich on Wednesday Night/Thursday Morning. I spotted this guy when he came he wasnt tradtionally handsome in any sense. But I was intrigued by him. My friends and I continued drinking cocktails having a nice time singing along to the music. We had decided that we were going to finish our drinks and go shortly
Then he suddenly came over and sat in the seat next to me . One of my friends for some unknown reason pursed her lips together  and then eventually walked off. She was our lift home so we felt like we couldnt stay and chat. So we got up and left not shortly after they came to sit with us. The thing is I was really interested in one of the guys and I let the chance slip thru my fingers. My friend said he was minging. But I get sometimes get really attracted to guys who arent  traditionally good looking . I think admired his courage to come over and speak to us. I thought he was intriguing and I wanted to get to know him.

But I didnt even offer him my number or email address or even acknowledge I was interested. I stupidly thought I could track him down on Facebook. However that didnt work and now im a bit sulky thinking about a lost opportunity. All I can do is learn from it next time Im interested doing something about it. Sometimes in life you only get one shot.

PS: If you were Despardos on 29/30 and your name is Henry or  Rob get in touch

PPS: Who am I kidding ? The chance is long gone

Intimacy

Since my ex I had 2 lovers. One was a palate cleanser I wasnt even mentally in tune, I just went thru the motions . But it helped me move forward. It was ok experience but I have avoided him since not opting for a repeat performance.

The 2nd ( mr slough) was the most interesting experience I had in a while we didnt actually have sex. But he massaged me , kissed me along my spine and back and touched me so gently like he thought I would break.He would cuddle me and it was so intimate something that I had been missing in my lovelife before. It helped me move on and realise there was better experiences to be had . He would text me several times a week telling me what he wanted to do me, how sexy he thought I was. It stroked my ego and did actually help lift me up. The texts went to in the end lead nowhere and I decided not to see him again as all I was getting was lovely texts and no actual action. I needed the texts to be backed up with actions or maybe he made feel good enough to get back on the dating scene. Whatever it was he made me feel better and helped me move on and realise intimacy is something I need in a relationship.

Bike Girl and SkaterGURL

In a few days I will be getting my first bicycle, im very exicted about riding thru the park on my bike. I like the idea of the fresh air well as fresh as London air can get. Im loving the idea of a new form of exercise.

I bought a skateboard this month , im going to have skateboard lessons in the new year. My friends think im crazy to take up skateboard at 28.But I just love the idea of whizzing thru the park on my board. It will be a challenge and I could get hurt but I just want to do it I can explain. I feel like why not.

The case of the Ex - should I even call him that?

I started reading a womens magazine called Pride . I has brought some much positivity into my life it has made me a lot fearless. Im really not as scared as I use to be. I woke up on Boxing Day feeling completely different about the Ex . I felt like everything had been erased I didnt feel pain anymore. My day didnt rise and fall on whether he responded or not. I had nothing to lose - he wasnt speaking to me before and if he didnt respond I had really lost anything because he was talking to me before. I think that why I texted him on Boxing Day. I want to be sure its over and he wont return.
I guess sometimes I just think I had an idea of how a relationship should end and I still cant believe this is how it ends. But life isnt fairy tale relationship ended brutally and they can be painful. I guess I still wanted a better ending where he would at least respond to text to say he is ok. I dont want him back I could never want him back but I still care about him.

But Im about to start dating in January in 2011 and Im looking forward to meeting people. I feel that im ready to date properly take it slowly; In the past I have moved at warped speed to only have things crash and burn. Im not looking for anything serious but im not looking for a shag either. But I have a clearer idea of what I want from a man. I love being independent and I love my own space, so much I dont know if I would ever live with a man again.
I like spending time with my friends and I like to do my own thing. Sometimes I wonder if I really suppose to be with someone or maybe I should just be myself. I question whether everyone is suppose to have a partner. I know I dont want to get married and I dont want kids. I think why do I want a relationship?

Lazy Blogger

Im quite glad no one is reading this because there is no pressure to update regularly. : ) I can be a lazy as I want. Maybe one day I will be accidently discovered. But I cant really be bothered to promote my blog. When you have an audience you have to be a bit more responisble and I think it can make you edit yourself. My favourite line from my movie of the Year - The Social Network. The internet is written in ink not pencil. You have to be careful what you put out there as you cant always take it back.