Its strange when you come out the other side of bad experience it can really help focus your mind.
I started grabbing at opportunities that I would normally let pass me by as I was too scared. I have had self defence lessons, cycling lessons , IT lessons, gone to meetings about spirituality. I suddenly realised I need to enjoy my life and learn and focus on new experiences and doing the things I want. I realised before the bad experience I was half a person and I didn't really have any focus or real hobbies. I allowed this other person and their issues to engulf me and I forgot myself it was so much easier to be engulfed by someone else, then when they left me. I had to face facts I had no real life and no real focus or passion. I spoke to a friend about this and he said it was easier to be distracted then focus on myself. I have learned not become wrapped up in anyone I love or care about. I can be with someone and not become wrapped up. Because when you have unwrap yourself from someone is pretty painful.
The cycling lesson was the most fun I have to book another lesson to get round to riding on my own. I really want a folding bike( cos I don't have room for a large bike) I have to get a small frame one as I'm short girl. My general pattern is trying a few bike shops and sitting on bikes get comfortable. I think I will start with Halfords as it close by.
I'm more focused on what I want now, if I see something I want try to take it I procrastinate less. I want to enjoy my life. I have written a list of six things I want. I try not to be distracted from these these six things . I'm a person who is easily distracted by many things friends, the news, social issues, TV. But I'm working hard to remain focused on these things.
1) Lose Weight and keeping a healthy diet and regular exercise from DVDs/prepare myself for a good relationship read self help books and life experiences books. I need to realising I made a lot relationship mistakes in the past and learn from my mistakes. Make an effort to smile and talk to people more. I have to work thru my issues.
2) Doing ECDL - I enjoy this computer course and will be able to put on my CV when I finish : )
3) Looking for a new job - very hard in a recession but I'm trying
4)Cycling lessons - buy a bike. Prepare for driving lessons and start taking lessons
5) Go to Uni - Number 3 and 5 are linked I'm looking for a 9-5 job so I can go to Birbeck Uni in the evening next year 2011 or earlier if I find another job. I currently do shift work and shifts are about to get worse in the near future
6) Finish on my home study writing course, read my play writing books and work towards finish a play so I can submit to Royal Court Theatre. I also feel an urge to do a playwright course. I also want to try an acting course or maybe Amateur Dramatics for fun
PS: Kish Kash one of my favourite albums and I listened to as I wrote this.
No comments:
Post a Comment