I feel an urge to contact a person who is slowly becoming someone from my past. The urge comes and goes. I cant contact him because I don't have is email address and I don't have his number I got rid them when I was purging myself of him. I will not check facebook for him. I just cant bring myself to do it. I feel like to would be taking the scab of a healing wound. I know we made each other unhappy and there is no future for us. Maybe there never was maybe I should accept the writing on the wall. He used me pure and simple its just how some people are. I know now I deserve a lot better.I made so many mistakes and have learned from these experiences . I will be so much calmer now and have less expectations when it comes to love.
Sometimes I just want to know that he is OK and he isn't letting the pressure he is under crush him to pieces.But other times I don't care about him at all and; I hope to never see or hear from him again. But I also cant explain why I think about someone who doesn't care about me its almost like I'm a moth to the flame. I'm becoming curious as I get older why I have a tendency to abandon friends and family in pursuit of someone who doesn't care about me, its something i have done time and time again. I have to learn to treasure the people who love me as they are the only ones that care. I haven't blogged for a while and this has been fun
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