Im feeling good .....maybe

I think for the first time in since I have been writing this blog. I can say im feeling happy and a lot more relaxed. Over the past couple of years there has been alot of anxiety and stress in my life. I have a place to call my own. It has brought me so much hapiness. Its great fun choosing stuff for a new home and find out your style

. I have been checked out by the doctor. There was something wrong with cunt but hopefully it will be resolved in the next couple of weeks or months.

I have decided to focus on losing weight and my writing career and traveling. Losing weight is probably my biggest challenge. I am emotional eater/drinker and I sometimes eat because im bored.But I really want to stop all this. I believe so many of the health and self esteem problems are linked to my weight.

I dont think its the key to everything but I know I will feel a lot better.I have come full circle when it comes to men. I dont know what I want. I dont know if I want a shag or a relationship. Im probably old enough for a relationship and really quit all this silly screwing around.

Although my last screw was in march or april.Im probably more sensitive so the screwing around isnt a good idea. I recently was texted by someone who fucked me a long time (threesome guy). I weighted up the pro and cons.

pros

1, the sex should be great

2,He is familar

3,He is cute

cons

1,he is already seeing other people behind his girlfriend back. increased risk of sexual disease.( he isnt a big condom fan)

2, last time you slept with him you felt like shit aftewards went home a drank a bottle of malibu

3 he has a girlfriend

4 he doesnt give a shit about you as friend or lover or fuckbuddy

5 his priority is to fuck you up the ass and I havent done that for years.

I actually made a list and cons out weighed the pros. So its unlikely Im going to do it. I love my new found maturity when it comes to sex.

But I could end up putting my pussy on pedastool, thinking no guy is good enough to fuck me.Once im fully recovered I can finally test out my rampant rabbit. If its good as I think it will be. I might not get involved with anyone for a bit longer.

This time without guys has been good for me. I have spent a lot time focusing on me. Instead of the focusing on trying to find someone.