Messenger, Men and Movies

Date: Jan 18, 2007

I had recently removed both messengers from my pc. It was getting on my nerves and I was never getting anything done and I was wasting my time.Its a early days but I'm feeling happier with out it. I'm getting more done. I'm going out more instead staying in to chat on line. I admit my life had got that sad.I recently realised I have a lot of issues with men. I don't hate men that would be harsh.

No guy has ever physical hurt me or left barefoot and pregnant. I like don't married men, A guy I had been emailing and getting kind of close to as a friend, revealed he was married and a secret.I was so mad at him, I sent him an email giving my opinion on things that probably wasn't my place to say.

I did feel an overwhelming need to say these things for this I'm not sorry. But maybe it could of been said in a kinder way.I don't like betrayal of any sort or any lying. I don't like liars. I get extremely scared when people lie to me or aren't honest with me. Its the one thing that makes me crazy. I cant or wont control what I say in response. I believe honest rules. I wish I could find a way to resolve my issues with men.

The causes might I grew up with a father for most of life. I acquired a step dad when I was 18 , who is sly and I do not trust.I have numerous partners some who lied and wasted my time and none who ever gave a shit about me.To be honest I never gave a shit some of them actually most of them. The icing on the cake, a male friend I acquired in the midst of these times. I didn't think our friendship would last forever.

But when it ended suddenly it was probably one of the most painful things I had gone thru. Maybe I took all my pain out the married guy as I'm probably still angry at the male friend and the sudden end to our friendship. Maybe I was scared and was protecting my heart.All I know in the meantime while I sort myself out. I will read a few self help books see if I can resolve my issues.

I will be trying to explore my bi curious side . It will be an experimental experience.I don't think I would see myself in longterm same sex relationship. I have always wanted to explore my bi curious side but I'm just finding the guts to try and do this. I'm hoping the sex will be gentle and sweet
.Movies - Because I'm not sitting on messenger . I'm now reviving my social life and getting back to my hobbies. One of is going to the cinema. I have watched a few movies Perfume - Its fairy tale like but found it a bit bizarre. Last King of Scotland - amazing gripping and and all main actors put in great performances and kerry washington has a great ass. The pursuit of happyness- I really enjoyed its about over coming your struggles and making it thru.Smokin Aces - A nice little shoot up movie.

Movies I am looking forward to - Babel, Venus, Rocky Balboa, Dream girls and I'm considering trying to catch - Employee of the month for some comic relief.I'm also considering taking some dance classes or acting classes. Its more likely to be acting classes as I'm not always a good dancer.