I just dont know what to do with myself

Date :Jul 15, 2005

SV cancelled our date for the third time.I just dont know whether I should read between the lines. I close the door on the dating and then he reopens it. I feel that I am tired of this it.Im not sure of anything except that I feel messed about by him. I want to end it because I dont like feeling down on a Friday night.
I have written the dumping text and I am waiting to send it at 11pm tonight to make sure I dont make a mistake. I dont want to send it in anger. Im so relectant to end the dating . Because he is my last option of available sex and Im not interested in starting anything new with another person right now

.So I am sitting in my room on a Friday Night listening to the White Stripes version of I just dont know what to do with myself on repeat. Feel teary and and feeling like a loser for not having a back up plan.